Losing A Loved One
by Spunky875
Summary: Ryo remembers loved ones lost and some gained. One shot.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Fake or its characters.

**Warnings:** Spoilers for series, CHARACTER DEATH

_Italics – Ryo's thoughts_

Normal – present actions

Losing A Loved One

Sitting in my chair, wrapped in a blanket and holding a mug that Dee had given me, I stared out of the window of my apartment at the pouring rain. The sky was dark and the moon was covered, refusing to let light pass through. The clouds were full and almost seemed angry as they let their fury pound down against the earth. So much had happened since the night that Dee and I consummated our love. No matter what I came up against, Dee had always been able to help me…until now. No, I won't think about that, I have a job to do.

_It was raining the night that Dee saved me. I had followed the man who was suspected of murdering my parents to an abandoned parking lot. While hiding behind a concrete pillar, being drenched by the pouring rain, I heard everything. Who killed my parents, why, how, and finally, that it had been a mistake. Filled with rage, logic being overwhelmed, I jumped out from my hiding place, intent on killing the man that had ruined my life. Dee stopped me. Stopped me from making a huge mistake, saying that I wasn't a cold-blooded murderer. Dee was there for me, and from that point on, I knew that I wanted Dee in my life._

_It was raining the day that my family was completed. I had gotten the courage to ask Dee to move in with me and to become my partner in every sense of the word, including becoming a father to Bikky. It was a long and seemingly endless battle in the justice system, but finally it was passed through. Bikky was officially adopted by both me and Dee. When the judgement was passed, it was a dreary, wet day, but that did not affect the happiness that I had felt that day. _

_It was raining the day of the accident. You had driven to work on your own and I told you to come back to me. You didn't. You went around a corner too fast, slipped on the wet road and rolled into a tree. Your body was so mangled that it was a closed casket funeral. A part of me died that day, the day that you were lowered into the ground and covered by earth. Nothing else seemed to matter. I was depressed and broken. I wanted to die. Having Bikky torn out of my life that way, just like my parents had been, was devastating. _

_It was raining the day that you decided to leave me. You told me that you'd have enough. That if I was no longer willing to be part of our relationship, you were out of here. I let you leave. I saw you walk out that door, out of my life. We still talk at work, even though we are no longer partners, but it's painful. I can't even put into words how much I miss you, your warm smile, your comforting embrace and your loving nature. I don't know how I kept on going, which is probably why I am here…._

Standing in the kitchen, looking out at the storm through my window, holding a gun in my hand. The cold steel of the gun brings me back to reality. I feel its smooth but deadly exterior. I pause slightly, why I do not know_. I have nothing to live for, no one to live for. Death would be better._ I raise the gun to my head, my finger posed on the trigger. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, ready to shoot myself.

Suddenly, the gun us wrenched from my hand. I turn around to see who has stopped me.

"What the hell are you doing?" Berkeley asked in anger, holding my gun.

_He appears to be concerned, but maybe that's just what I want to see. _

My eyes reflected my own anger, along with my grief. "What does it look like?" I reply sarcastically. My hands begin to shake._ Why is he doing this? Why can't he just let me kill myself?_

"Ryo, don't do this." Berkeley said, ignoring my sarcastic reply.

"Why shouldn't I!" I yelled back, "I have nothing! My parents are gone, Bikky's gone, Dee's gone! There's nothing left for me." I could feel tears starting to form behind my eyes. I blinked, trying to keep them hidden.

Berkeley didn't say anything. _I wonder if he's going to give me my gun back. It seems that even he agrees with me. Unexpectedly, I felt even worse. Even Berkeley though I should kill myself. _

I collapsed onto the floor, sobbing. I felt Berkeley kneeling next to me."See?" I choked out, "You agree with me." Wrapping my arms around myself, I tried to calm down.

I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. "Ryo, I don't agree with you. You have people who care for you and a job that people depend on you for. You have something to live for." Berkeley tried to reason with me, his heart wrenching at the sight before him. "And you have me," Berkeley said quietly, not expecting me to hear him.

_But I did and your words and love saved me. I don't know how long we sat on that floor, your arms wrapped around me. But I'll never forget the way I felt that night, with you by my side, offering your love and me embracing it, arms wide open. _

**Author's Note:**

So this is a little one shot that I came up with on a rainy day. It's based after the series but has reflections back to some events within the series. This is an alternate ending to the first one I wrote. It was originally posted under Spunky87, which is now Spunky875 on this site. Hoped you enjoyed it, ja ne!


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